I have already been blessed with 5 beautiful children. My last pregnancy and delivery was very hard. I gave birth to very large babies, the biggest weighing in at 11 pounds.I am not diabetic and did not have gestational diabetes. I just had these huge babies.Needless to say, the pregnancies were hard on my body, and I almost died giving birth to the largest baby. The doctor did not expect him to be so big, and I began to hemorrhage as he was delivering him. It was very scary.
My husband is not the biological father of 4 of my children, but he loves them as his own. He has 3 children from his previous marriage already as well. After 5 years together, his children from his previous marriage were beginning to grow up (turning 18), and my children were all in school. We decided to have a 5th child, since we had no children together. Obviously we both love kids and being parents. Halfway through the pregnancy with my 5th child, I knew that carrying these large babies was wearing my body down. It seemed like I was in constant pain. As the baby grew ever larger, his slightest movements became painful, feeling like someone was carving me from the inside out with a dull butter knife. He was just growing too big for my body, and my doctor finally had mercy on me at 38 weeks. He induced my labor, and I delivered a 10 pound baby that would have been an 11 or even a 12 pounder if I had carried to the full 40-42 weeks.
I had been failed by birth control ( the pill and Mirena ) with 2 of my children. My doctor and I had already discussed it and he agreed that the deliveries of these robust babies was taking a toll. I was sure I wanted a tubal ligation, no question about it. My husband agreed, looking at the financial stand point of raising children as well as my health. I had the tubal, along with some work on my bladder that had dropped. My abdominal wall muscles have collapsed, leaving me with a belly that will never be normal or even close to it without surgery. With this many children, I couldn’t afford the down time from work, and it wasn’t a surgery that I needed to have right away, so I decided to wait until the baby was a little bigger to have that done.
My husband & I had sex a few weeks ago, & I remember seeing a tinge of pink blood afterward when I had to go pee. I had been having light cramps too, but I just thought my period was starting early. Sometimes it can be off a few days or even a week or so. Thing is, it never came. I now wonder if that wasn’t all from implantation. Now here I am, very late for my period, showing the signs I always feel early in pregnancy. The marked tiredness, the heartburn, frequent urination, sore breast, and mood swings. After 5 pregnancies, you just know, and you are familiar with the signs. I feel pregnant. I took a test, but where the positive line should have been, there was only a dot. I think it was just an invalid test, and have decided to give it another few days and try again.
My husband is against abortion. I feel it is a woman’s right and should be her choice. However, it is a decision I never felt that I could make for myself. But, we have talked openly about it as a possibility. He now draws disability because of several serious health issues he has. I work full time, and he cares for the kids. We agree that there is no way we could afford another child. We also agree that there would be a lot of serious risks to me given my past history with pregnancies just to carry a baby. That might sound selfish, but there are 5 other children here that have to be considered. Having them grow up without their mother isn’t something I would want to put them through. It is something he has always been against, but standing in these shoes now he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t either. Part of me knows it would be a huge burden on my family, we are already struggling just to make ends meet now that my husband can’t work. I also see the risks and complications to myself as well. I honestly don’t know if my husband could physically handle taking on a baby. But I do know he would try his best. Just keeping our grand daughter ( his daughter’s child ) overnight exhausts him, and I work all the time. I restore antique furniture, and deal in antiques in general. The fumes and chemicals are dangerous if you are pregnant. I would have to close my business. How would we live then?
Still, I struggle with the thoughts of aborting a baby. I feel like maybe it was meant to be. Maybe this baby will have some special purpose in life, some reason that is so great God sent it against all odds. Who am I to intervene? My husband shares the same reasons. I have always felt that if God leads you to it, he will bring you through it.
What would you do, if faced with this choice? Would you try to carry the baby, or abort it?

I have a couple of photo shoots coming up and I want my skin to glow and be baby soft. I’m an aspiring model and I want a good out come on my photos. Can you give me a good name brand moisturizer to use? Thanks